Downsizing is the Worst Movie Ever Made

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Last summer while sitting at bar, a friend of mine asked “Have you seen the trailer for downsizing?” I replied “Yes.” Even though I hadn’t seen it yet. I didn’t want my friend Jeremy to know he had any advantage over me, and so I snuck away to the bathroom. I proceeded to google downsizing in front of a urinal in the bathroom of Sidebar located in downtown Boston. The trailer started off with “Once in a Lifetime” by The Talking Heads, which is one of the best feel good songs you can put in a movie, right up there with “Laid” by James and “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals. The cast featured Matt Damon, Christopher Waltz, Neil Patrick Harris…..and so I instantly thought “This will go down as one of my favorite movies of all time.”

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I could not have been more wrong with my initial thought process. After watching two of the trailers, I thought this would be a feel good movie about a good guy who learns to live as a minimalist, and ends up happy with his wife and friends. I thought it would have the same sentimental feelings Click had, and I would hopefully cry tears of joy at the end.

*Spoiler Alert*

This movie turns dark real fast. All the people in this small town become materialistic with their ability to now buy anything in this small world, and right after Matt Damon gets the procedure to become small, his wife leaves him. The movie just kept getting weirder, and weirder, and I had no idea what was going on. I could definitely see the shots and symbolism being thrown at society, but sometimes less is more. I didn’t want some deep movie, I just wanted to laugh, and feel good, and that’s what the trailers made the movie seem like it was going to be. I could have turned it off at any point, but I was just angry, and needed to keep watching. I had faith at some point it would start to get good, but it just never happened. Never watch this movie. If you want to watch people become small just watch Honey I Shrunk the Kids, or google movie clips of Peter Dinklage.

Happy 420!!!!!

The blogs are back. I’m still employed. Crypto Currency is starting to gain momentum. Summer is right around the corner. Life is good. And last but not least…….

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Its corn-hole season baby!

 

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