Please, Let Me Have Fun On Cinco De Mayo

The suns shining. Winter is over. You signal to the bartender. “Another one.” You’re 5 margaritas down at 2:30 in the afternoon. You ask yourself. Why don’t I get margaritas more often?


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It’s the first day drinking event that kicks off the summer, and all good things great about this world are coming soon. Memorial day weekend, July Fourth, highschool graduation parties, music festivals, the beach, ice cream, sunshine, swimming, corn hole, and corona not in a can.

It’s Cinco De Mayo!

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Cinco De Mayo baby! Celebrating Mexican culture. You’re finally out of the den. You haven’t seen another human outside of work in months. You decide to rock that chin strap, and a shirt a little too edgy, and immediately regret it as you’re half way to your destination. You have your tequila ready. You get out of the uber, and almost forget one thing…your sombrero. It’s been with you the last 5 May 5ths and it’s ready for Cinco De Mayo number 6. It’s a great day ahead, until suddenly you’re spotted, and you’re in for a rude awakening. Something like this happens………

You’re attacked. You have a slight buzz going, thinking about what you’re going to say to Stacy at the party, when this girl who has been preparing her argument for MONTHS is ready to attack the first person she sees who is “appropriating her culture”. There’s no stopping this girl. She has her only two friends with her. One’s video taping, and the other is ready to make a point at any moment. You try to brush it off. Just smile through the pain. But they’re relentless. They have smelt blood, and they’re not backing down. You make valid points like. “Hey, I’m just celebrating your culture. I’m not trying to offend anyone.” But there’s nothing you can say to help yourself in this situation. No matter what, you’re wrong and they’re right. Image result for live long enough to become the villain

The real question is, how does this girl know this kid in the video isn’t of Mexican decent? He very well could be of Mexican heritage, but she’s judging a book by its cover without even asking him. And that’s how these extreme, overly offended people are. They act so righteous for their beliefs, but actually act in a completely contradicting way. It’s like they’re always on edge, waiting for someone to slip up and say something that sounds kind of bad, which tends to happen in most conversations, then its game over. They tend to prey on the drunk. They hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones, because they know they can be all of those little hateful things, and then they hate themselves for realizing that.

Let Me Have Fun

I don’t want this to happen to me today. I don’t want this to happen to anyone around me. I don’t want this to happen to anyone in the world. What’s the expression on St.Patricks day? Everyone is Irish on St.Patricks day. People dress in green, wear four leaf clovers, dress as leprechauns, get drunk, and have good time. If I was offended by everything like some people are, I could look at St.Patricks day as an Irish person and think. These people aren’t Irish. Who are they to make a mockery of my culture? That man over there is wearing a strap-on ginger beard. Us Irish aren’t all gingers. And that man over there is dressed as a leprechaun and is getting freaking DRUNK! We’re not all drunks! and we’re not all leprechauns! This is a mockery. These people don’t wear green on an everyday basis! They are portraying my culture as some type of character! SHUT IT DOWN!

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But I don’t think that way, because I realize people are here to have a good time. There’s a time and place for everything, and believe it or not people aren’t all secretly out to get you. Maybe a couple are. I just have one question for these people who are so against other people who celebrate Mexican culture. What’s the alternative you’re looking for? Isn’t it a good thing to see people celebrating Cinco De Mayo rather than protesting it? I understand what cultural appropriation is, but if you’re standing up for social justice, maybe think of something a little bit better than yelling at a drunk college kid for drinking tequila on Cinco De Mayo. If you’re going to film yourself debating an unprepared bystander, you’re just contributing to a much larger issue of people making a scene for every little thing, and when something in our society happens that is socially unjust, it goes unnoticed because of people making Mike from New Hampshire out to be a villain because he wanted to wear a sombrero.

Chill Out

Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. Have some fun, and if this offended you, good because I still don’t give a fuck.



P.S. I’ll be at the bar.



Double P.S. Tequila shots on me.




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