I’m not talking about who you want to be in life, I’m talking about the dreams you have when you shut your eyes. The dreams I have could win a damn Oscar some nights, until I wake up and can’t remember shit. Dreams are what virtual reality companies want to be so badly, but I don’t think they will ever measure up. I have dreams where I learn how to fly, and I teach those around me how to do it, and its the most blissful thing I experience. I also dream about every girl I’ve been in love with, and they love me back in my dreams and that shit is dope too. Yet, when I go to tell my best friend, mom, dad…etc. about them, I see their eyes gloss over, they open up their phone, and respond with “That’s sick.” which translates to “I don’t give a fuck about your dream last night, stop talking to me.”
Yea no one gives a shit until you actually make it. People who have the lamest jobs ever make fun of anybody who tries pursuing anything remotely creative. A girl told me one time that I was just a failed writer. Uhhh thanks for the encouragement, have fun being miserable not figuring out who you actually want to be in life while your white-collar husband keeps making more money, but makes you more miserable. I guess you don’t know who Betty Draper is. Let people create music without calling them Soundcloud rappers. Not everyone wants to be the next big surgeon, or wants to impact society, or save lives, and do lame stuff like that.
I’m sure it’s been quite the journey going from eating Mcdonalds three days a week, to meal prepping on Friday nights to keep your diet going strong. You probably feel incredible and look great, but no one actually cares. Have fun with your fucking juice cleanse. I tried being healthy once. I cut out sugar completely, stopped drinking caffeine, didn’t have alcohol, tried being a vegan, and all that happened was me having a mini panic attack thinking I was going to die. I chugged a coke right away, and ate a t-bone steak, unfollowed PETA on twitter, and decided that life was not for me. I did quit dairy though besides cheese occasionally so that is that.
4.Your Significant Other
Yea we get it, your girlfriend is fucking crazy but you’ve stayed together the last 4 years. I don’t need to hear you bitch about how you can’t go out on Friday’s anymore. If you want to be single, then be single. We have free choice. Maybe arrange some type of Will Smith Jada Pinkett type thing. It’s 2018. Nothing matters. Life is a free-for-all. Just do it.
5.The Race You Are Training For
I don’t give a fuck about your knees buckling training for a marathon when you were running up hills for 6 hours. I don’t care about the Spartan Race you just ran. I especially don’t care about the holiday 5k you just ran, and you better not make me feel guilty at Thanksgiving dinner, when I’m chugging Pedialyte looking like I need a kidney and liver transplant, while lying on my grandmother’s couch, because I went too hard on Thanksgiving Eve at Players.
Traveling is the coolest thing ever, but whenever I try telling people about some of my best stories no one actually cares. The coolest stories of my life happened while traveling, but I think it’s sort of like dreaming, where if it didn’t happen to you, then no one can really understand your stories, unless they have been their before. It’s almost impossible to describe a culture and know how being in that culture changes you. I thought study abroad kids were the most annoying people on the planet until I went abroad and understood it. Some travel people are kind of shitty though. Like the ones who just downplay how cool a city is because they’re trust fund babies who have gone everywhere since they were ten years old.
On December 4th it will officially be one year since I launched Somedrunkblogger.com. I want to thank everyone who has read my blog, and especially those who have reached out to me with words of encouragement. It’s terrifying putting yourself out there, and every nice thing someone has said to me over the past year truly means so much to me. This is what I love to do, and if I can make people laugh and be happy, that’s all I care about in life. I have a ton of cool projects I have planned, so be on the look out. This is just the beginning.